10 Life Lessons....Turning 26

Today is my birthday (YAY!!!). I can’t lie, the closer and closer I've gotten to this day the more filled with dread and panic I've become. Firstly 26 is way too close to 30 and secondly, no there is no secondly, that’s pretty much it. It all comes down to one thing- having to act my age. Growing up I always looked at 26 (the age at which my mother got married) as time when it would all come together for me. I would be a woman, a grown-up, I wouldn't sit at the kiddies table anymore or get referred to as “girl”. Sadly none of those things have happened and so woe consumed me... a chat with my mother changed all this though. We talked about getting older and wiser and what a blessing it is and this inspired me to write a list 10 things I've learnt over the years, a letter to my teenage self. Things I wish I had known then. The list was initially 26 things but that was a looooooooooong list. 

26 Too Old for Selfie's ?

1.       Get your heart broken at least once. I was one of those teens who had it all figured out (too much Dawson’s Creek). I thought I was above heartbreak. LIES! There’s nothing quite like getting your heart broken. It brings a belief in God, witchcraft, the supernatural.... anything to take the pain away. It feels like it will hurt forever but it doesn't and when you heal you really are stronger because of it. Heartbreak doesn't have to be the loss of a lover. It can be the loss of a dear friend or the loss of a dream (realizing I didn't want to be a doctor). 

2.       Happiness is an inside Job. Depression is awesome. People will lie to you and tell you it sucks, depression gives you the freedom to think only about yourself. Wallow in misery and make every single one of the world’s problems about you. Also studies (don't ask which and when) that highly artistic and intelligent people are more prone to depression. Happiness, just like depression can only be created and maintained by you.  Love yourself, accept yourself and only then can you form happy, healthy relationships and subsequently a happy life.

3.       Make peace with your parents’ mistakes. African parents generally aren't the “follow your dreams”, “do whatever makes you happy”, “we don’t believe in spanking”  type parents we all wish we had growing up. They are however loving and fiercely protective. If you’re like me your parents sacrificed more than you ever know to make you happy. The beginning of a happy life and a happy relationship with your parents is accepting their flaws and moving on. One day you’ll be a parent and will mess with your kids heads too.

4.       Comparison is the thief of Joy. Little African girls who spend their lives in western books and TV (which I love, no hate here), they look at these fictional characters and wonder why their hair isn't like that, why their skin is so dark,  why they have so much booty, why they don’t go on holiday to exotic places or have ”spring” and “autumn”. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, focus on what you do. God made you beautiful, unique. He made you AFRICAN.  Embrace it.

5.       What you believe doesn't matter as much as what you do. Actions speak louder than words the age old adage says. In a continent rife with conflict over beliefs, life would be so much better if we quite literally practice what we so often preach.

6.       Love isn't what you see on TV and on Radio. I had to make a deliberate effort to unlearn what society had fed me. That love was drama, fights, making up...love was passion, love was Riri and Chris Brown (before the beating), Whitney and Bobby... Love is 1^st Corinthians 13. I wish I had learnt that earlier.

7.       Culture is important. Growing in the half-African half-Western world it’s easy to forget what a significant role culture will play in your life. Especially when you grow up. Your parents will want a bride price when you get married, you will have to kneel in front of your in-laws, and you will have to cover your head at funerals. It’s not backward or unrealistic (depending on your persuasion). It’s your heritage. Don’t resent it.

8.       Surround yourself with like minded, positive and motivational people. The company you keep will determine your success.

9.       Age really is just a number. In Africa unless you've got kids you are still a kid. Don’t take yourself too seriously, nobody else does.

10.   In all things put God first.  Make peace with your creator and live a life that honors him.

Anybody else out there worried about getting older? Any wisdom to share?