Right Handed Thoughts

All third world countries are equal but some are more equal than others. As someone who has never lived anywhere other than the continent of Africa. I shouldn’t judge. But I watch too much TV. And I’ve been known to read a little. I am aware of how it should be. Ghana, Botswana, Ghana, Botswana. Two countries in sub-Saharan Africa. Both designated ‘developing’ by the powers that be. But they couldn’t be more different than salt and sugar. Botswana has a small economy, so small that its total population is the same as that of the second largest city in Ghana, Kumasi. Most of its population is working in the government sector and there are a lot of structures in place to service even rural communities and so many checks and balances that it becomes a tedious process to do anything. While Ghana on the other hand has a diverse economy with income being generated from large manufacturing industries, along with cocoa production and mining, including that of oil. The gap between the rich and the poor is huge, but the people are more diverse, welcoming and colourful than anything I have ever experienced. Going to any market place is like entering a new world of sights and sounds that is all at once unpleasant (the smells), intriguing (the merchandise on sale) and wonderful (the haggling and the bargain items)

So here are five things about Ghana that I have found different, peculiar, confusing, enlightening.

1) That is not a weave. Women in Ghana are HAIRY. It is most disconcerting. I’ve seen more hair on the back of a five year old child than I have on both my legs AND arms. It sprouts everywhere. Chins, upper lips, outrageous sideburns. What is this? Obviously it’s not everyone, but it’s more than I’m used to. The upside is obviously the hair that grows on their head. Long. Thick. Luxurious. Maybe it’s something in the pure water sachets (please see item number 3), or the tropical climate or the different diet, ‘cause they don’t make black like this down south. Or maybe it’s just a consequence of having white slave owners rape our ancestors just a few generations ago. Who knows? But when you find yourself sitting in church with four, (FOUR!) women sitting in front of you with waist length REAL hair(I spent half the sermon gazing at their swishing natural veils in awe), you start to wonder how. And in the dark of night you start to ask God why have you forsaken me? And you eat all the fish and plantain you can, trying to get those good oils, it can’t hurt right?

2) Public transport feels like rolling the dice on your life expectancy. Trotro is a form of transport that basically consists of you being packed into a metal container that has probably never passed a roadworthy test. It is usually a minibus (combie) or small bus seating around 30. With shock absorbers so warn out every single pot hole the trotro sends jarring pain through your bones and there are a lot of potholes.  And at the end of your journey your ass feels like you’ve fallen on it at least three or four times. Traffic is congested and EVERY taxi driver thinks he’s got the right of way. Sometimes it feels like playing real life Grand Theft Auto, because the rules don’t apply.

3) The thirst is real. We drink water in sachets. 500ml plastic sachets. Just because you have a tap connected to the main water line doesn’t mean water will flow out of it, water flows every other day at best. Rural areas don’t even have that luxury, they have to depend on boreholes and rivers which are more often than not contaminated People actually get cholera in the country I live in now. So some genius, instead of tackling the issue of providing safe clean drinking water decided to create what is now the biggest form of pollution in Ghana. These sachets of water are discarded by the roadside, in gutters, in bushes, in trees, everywhere you walk, you will come across the discarded remnants that once held one of human beings basic needs. But what we don’t need is pollution.

4) Power corrupts. Politics is the main thing on TV, in the newspapers, on the radio. It is all people seem to talk about and it’s not even an election year! Endless speeches on reforms and wage increases that never materialize.

5) What’s up Fam? I am relegated to calling everybody that is older than me by the title of Uncle or Auntie. I suppose it is intended as a sign of respect, but calling the lady at the market stall selling over ripe tomatoes Auntie is just a bit much. But I wouldn’t want to seem rude. Oh no! In Ghana seeming rude seems to be right up there with offences such as armed robbery and murder. So we pepper our speech with a million pleases and thank yous. Please yes or please no, until they become meaningless. Make sure to always greet and always receive or give objects to people with your right hand, because God forbid, you use your left hand, which is apparently designated for ass wiping. Tsk tsk, too bad they don’t know I wipe my ass with my right

So that’s my African country, what’s yours like?